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What Strain Does Trump Need Today? Tangerine Dream

In the interests of national security, Leafly’s cannabis experts are preparing an ongoing series of reports matching Donald Trump’s moods, concerns, and outbursts to the strain of cannabis best suited to his — and the nation’s — wellness needs.

Date: Aug. 12, 2016 

Status Report: Trump seems to give an inordinate amount of attention and concern to what “many people are saying,” and not necessarily in a healthy, “I’m on a listening tour”-type way. He’s forever hearing things from “my people,” and worrying about what “some people say.” In the past few days, he’s fallen back on this phrasing to accuse Hillary Clinton and her emails of dooming Iranian physicist Shahram Amiri, who was recently executed in Iran for spying. 

Situation: The Republican candidate doesn’t suffer from FOMO; he’s burdened with FOWTJSAM (pronounced “Fawt-Jam,” the ‘s’ being silent), Fear Of What That Jerk Said About Me. To calm this worry over what “many people are saying,” we’re looking for a strain to alleviate social anxiety. Something to help him relax and care less about what other people are saying — and especially what they’re saying about Trump. 

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Recommendation: Tangerine Dream. This 2010 Cannabis Cup winner, a hybrid of G13, Afghani, and Neville’s A5 Haze, is known for its ability to knock out pain, increase energy, and provide uplifting, euphoric, and anxiety-dampening effects. Consumers report retained mental clarity with deep muscle relaxation. Leafly reviewer amandamfinn reported that she “literally bawled my eyes out because I said that I loved everything.” This is a strain that you want to “smoke when you’re with your best peeps.” Or, perhaps, with that jerk who just tweeted a critical remark about your foreign policy speech.  

What strain will Trump need next?

 What Strain Does Trump Need Today? Durban Poison.

Photo of Donald Trump by Gage Skidmore